Unleash the angst

I never really had my angsty teenage years, perhaps because I was never in a relationship when I was in my teens. I keep running into the fact that relationships are tiring, especially long distance ones. I love it because time flies, but I also hate it for the same reason. Sometimes I worry that I'm already too far behind in life, and that being in a relationship is not helping me get anywhere faster. I worry that if I invest in this and it doesn't work out then the time might be wasted. But I'm willing to take that risk because I know that the benefits of it working out far outweigh the risk of it failing.

I don't know if that would be called angst, or just simple worrying about the future. I guess it must be more about the future than angst, because I find that I'm generally happy most of the time(unless I'm in the middle of a fight/tiff).

On another tangent I've noticed a serious case of senioritis setting in. I find myself spacing out in class, getting distracted with my translator, and not having any real will to do my homework. I know I should be putting more effort into school because of the whole "post graduate is the new graduate" idea that seems to be gaining popularity. I'm so done with school, I've already been at it for 6 years and now all I have to show for it is a degree that might not be useful at all. I sometimes wish I had just buckled down and stuck to the CS major, but whenever I do I always think that if I had done that things wouldn't be the way they are now, I'd be a different person, and I might be generally unhappy like I was before. But who knows, maybe there was a path that I could have taken that would have gotten me happiness and a stable financial situation.

Speaking of finances, I think that's the main reason that I'm worried about the future, and it's not even just my finances. I really wish that I had something that I could do, the house market still seems to be going down, so it's not time to put money into that yet, but I know that that is something I should definitely consider when it becomes viable again. I always talk to people who seem to have a lot of money and don't know what to do with it, and when I ask them what they do for a living they always say "I've got a couple of houses that I collect rent on" and that's it. They just buy a house with a loan, rent the house to someone to let them pay off the loan, and then start collecting money on the house 20 years down the line when they don't have to pay the house off anymore. Only problem is that you need to have a good amount of credit to do that, and I don't have that right now as far as I know. It's kinda like a catch-22 of financial hacks, you can make a lot of money doing nothing, but you have to have a lot of money in order to be able to start that.

I need to win the lottery.